Today I am feeling the love.
No I am not seeing someone. No, I do not have a hot date tonight.
But my heart is full and I am experiencing real love and healthy connections with those around me.
A year ago the sting of divorce was very fresh and I felt totally alone. Valentine’s Day was yet another reminder that I will never have the same relationship with my ex. I didn’t realize that God was loving me, it just felt like he was punishing me.
I know that today, yesterday, a year ago, and every day in between – my Higher Power has loved me fully. He disciplines those He loves and as painful as that can be – it brings an unspeakable peace and healing. As God continues to discipline me by bringing me through my program I feel His love more strongly. The further I advance through the Steps, the closer to Him I become. The more meetings I attend – the more connected I am to my brothers. I feel love when I work this program – REAL love.
Real love is serving others selflessly, not trying to change them.
Real love is celebrating the victories and mourning the losses together.
Real love is saying “me too” instead of “oh really?”
Real love is acceptance not judgment.
I have found all of these things and more through SA. I have been able to give these things after they were modeled to me. So today I am not searching for a date on Valentine’s Day. I am not perusing hook up sites for a cheap lust hit. I am not searching for a false connection that will ultimately leave me more empty than where it found me. My “Hot Date” will take place at 5:00 in an old, beige, trailer with about 15 other sexaholics. We will continue to show each other what real love looks like on a day that promotes cheap lust and buying attention through candy and gifts. We will open up more to each other than we ever could to non-addicts. We will love each other no matter what.
That’s all I need today.
It only takes one: The Next Chapter begins
Last weekend I attended a job fair. There was really only one school attending that met all my requirements to be considered my next employer. At first I was really disappointed that most schools in my desired region did not have openings for my subject area. I had to come to terms with the reality that I might need to be in Nashville another year. But this one school, the only possible shot at moving abroad next year, just so happened to extend an offer!
In 6 months my life will once again change dramatically. I will be teaching in the Middle East. I’m sure it’s going to be a wild, hot, sandy, fun, hot, humorous, (did I say hot?) adventure. Stay tuned…