His power was rarely used to defend me
The love I heard about depended on my actions
The way of life of His followers was hypocrisy
This is how I understood Him.
“Why don’t you help me get better?”
This question consumed my thoughts – It drove me to insane actions, to isolation.
“He could never love someone like me.”
The shame was the burden I chose to carry – It led to a life without freedom.
“I am not who I say I am”
Self-hatred, remorse only led to more of the same – The vicious cycle called Addiction continued..
Because I misunderstood.
I did not understand God:
God is strong enough to help me.
True sobriety is proof of this fact
God loves me in spite of my sins
Great as they are – He is greater
God shows me how to live – humbly, honorably and truthfully
God has not changed.
It is my knowledge of Him and spiritual experience that has.
And everyday I understand Him a little better…