I never in a million years thought it would happen to me. I was going to be a member of the 50% that avoided being a statistic. My marriage was not going to fail.
There has been a lot of grieving occurring in my heart over the last 6 months. The loss of friends and family has been almost too much to bear at times. I’ve grieved the change in fatherhood dynamics as I now am around way less and enevitably have less influence and less impact as a dad. Today I am grieving the loss of my wife. The marriage is officially over after a two hour conference call.
20 years of sex addiction. 10 years of marriage. Two hours of divorce mediation. It’s a wrap.
Despite the high praise we received from the lawyers and the mediator for our professionalism, I feel like my breath has been knocked out. If you were to listen in on the call you might think we were divorcing because of a mutual agreement. Irreconcilable differences is the term. That is obviously not the case. We are getting a divorce because of the decisions I made for the past several years. So because of that I cannot truly accept any sort of congratulations. I cannot accept that it’s a positive thing and we’ve made a step in the right direction. All I can think is:
What the hell have I done?