America: where you are congratulated on getting a divorce.

I never in a million years thought it would happen to me. I was going to be a member of the 50% that avoided being a statistic. My marriage was not going to fail.

There has been a lot of grieving occurring in my heart over the last 6 months. The loss of friends and family has been almost too much to bear at times. I’ve grieved the change in fatherhood dynamics as I now am around way less and enevitably have less influence and less impact as a dad. Today I am grieving the loss of my wife. The marriage is officially over after a two hour conference call.

20 years of sex addiction. 10 years of marriage. Two hours of divorce mediation. It’s a wrap.

Despite the high praise we received from the lawyers and the mediator for our professionalism, I feel like my breath has been knocked out. If you were to listen in on the call you might think we were divorcing because of a mutual agreement. Irreconcilable differences is the term. That is obviously not the case. We are getting a divorce because of the decisions I made for the past several years. So because of that I cannot truly accept any sort of congratulations. I cannot accept that it’s a positive thing and we’ve made a step in the right direction. All I can think is:

What the hell have I done?

BrokenYetRedeemed

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