Its New Year’s Eve. I just put the girls to bed for the last time until I visit again in March. Another much anticipated visitation with my angels is nearing its end and another year is literally hours from coming to a close.
I am deeply saddened that I will be leaving my girls soon but eternally grateful for the days we spent together.
In a mere two weeks I built memories that will last a lifetime and my heart is full. It’s so full it’s running over! Although it was strange visiting for Christmas for the first time, there was an easiness about it all the same. Another first was being “Daddy Santa” where I dressed as Santa Clause (fake beard, boots and all) and brought a giant bag full of toys to two very excited little girls. That was pretty special to say the least.
In the days following Christmas, we ate at all our favorite spots, watched movies, played games like Go Fish, made cookies, rode bikes, made snow angels, read books, danced to our favorite songs, and even caught a basketball game. We did a lot but we also did a lot of nothing. Many days we lounged and cuddled on the couch, just enjoying each other’s company.
The truth is it didn’t matter what activities were on the docket each day. My goal was to merely be WITH them and love on them the best I could. The last two months without them was downright tortuous at times and I’m sure the next 2 1/2 will be just as difficult. Being that far from your children for that long is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. I’ll leave it at that.
A common thing to say at the end of December is something like, “Where did the year go?”
My 2015 was a year like no other. It started innocently enough like many before it, hit a major bump in the road about halfway through and the rest was a bit of a blur. To say 2015 had highs and lows, though cliche, would be very accurate.
Looking ahead to 2016 I am scared about a great many things: time apart from the girls, my recovery, developing lasting friendships and a bunch of other stuff. At the same time I am filled with hope. I am hopeful that peace, recovery and reconciliation will continue. 2016 must be the Year of Hope for me. I say that it must be because frankly hope is something I cannot afford to live without.
So to all my friends and family I say Happy New Year. May God bring peace, love, forgiveness and HOPE to all of us who need it.
I’m praying for an extra dose during the difficult months ahead.